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It's Better Than It Sounds

by Jacob Norman Chainsaw-Arm

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1.
Sugarcoatin' 02:22
If I meet my high school self today, would I be able to stand him? Well probably not! It's hard enough for me to stand myself today. Would I reprimand him or attempt to understand him, hey that's a thought, who's to say if I ought to even think of him anyway. And to think, how much I've learned. It really makes me sick to think that I was him But not in a super sad way. If I'm sugar coating it was all just pains from growing. I had a vision in a dream that I looked god in the eye and he apologized for making me a man He said you should've been born of snow but let it go, just let it go, maybe when you're dead you just might understand I replied, "yeah dude, I think I might know what you mean, because my emotions are misaligned with my thoughts. but I think I'll stick around, maybe go for a walk, and try to postpone this body as it slowly rots. When you learn it all, teach me what is true, I really wish I knew! and if we're still friends next fall, then we'll throw a parade, five years from today. And to think, how much I've learned. It really makes me sick to think that I was him But not in a super sad way. If I'm sugar coating it was all just pains from growing.
2.
The only thing between myself and a pack of cigarettes, is my ever growing fear of death And this anxiety drives my daily actions and isn't too healthy I bet. I can't take a puff without coughing out a lung, so being cool must not be my style. Last time I tried cig I had to try so hard to come up with a way to keep down the bile. I wish I smoked cigarettes But drugs aren't my best friend, cuz I don't got none left x2 I could never try heroin because I am terrified of needles. Nevermind those deadly side effects I will sit around and play covers of the beatles Can't buy me lo-ove, everybody tells me so. But booze is cheap, and I'm ready to go. I wish I smoked cigarettes But drugs aren't my best friend, cuz I don't got none left x2
3.
Keep my arms crossed stay at home Sitting there perched so firmly on your golden thrown Oh it's a shame, we're all in shambles, and pretty soon you'll start to notice how I ramble on We get along, but what's wrong? I'm aching to write you a love song but first I think we have to meet And I'm oh so goddamn tired of thinking I am waiting but god knows I'm just a little too weak To get these thoughts out of my head, I think at this rate I may as well meet you in bed And I am so tired of all this waiting and constant self debating about this When I feel in my heart of hearts that you probably exist I am floating and at least two pairs eyes are staring down at me I am quietly praying that god might one day attempt set me free From these shackles, I know it's a hassle but I'm kinda stuck And when I die I'd like to look back on life and not think too much I'm aching to write you a love song but first I think we have to meet And I'm oh so goddamn tired of thinking I am waiting but god knows I'm just a little too weak To stretch my neck out of my shell, I think at this rate I may as well meet you in hell And I am so tired of all this waiting and constant self debating about this When I feel in my heart of hearts that you probably exist
4.
this june 02:42
I would like to hold you And maybe if just you would hold me too Well then we could be together Eating ice cream and popsicles this June
5.
Tell me the truth Do I smell like shit tonight or Do I smell alright How are you doing? But if I smell like poop tonight, won't you give me a minute to go take a shower, I think it would let both of us feel a little bit better And it sure would help me out Because I'm working on something even when I'm not working and this just isn't working out And we'll party all night like Mr. Krabs, and when it gets late, I'll try my best to hide my doubt My conscious tells me to dress they way I feel but then I tell it, I don't know how I wanna dress So I wear a variation of the same outfit for years upon years I don't even think it's the best Because I'm working on something even when I'm not working and I think it's pretty obvious I don't work out And we'll party all night like Mr. Krabs, and when it gets late, I'll try my best to hide my doubt
6.
split apart 00:44
7.
Uphill 02:26
I wake up on a daily basis, and about every day I get out of bed And If I smile when you look in my face it is ok, it is the way that I am sure that I'm not dead I may not be my own best friend but I will still pretty happy with myself in the end Curbside conversations will tidy all my concerns away. I am aware that it's an uphill fight but won't you just sit and talk with me tonight We'll mumble as I toss stones gently into the bay I am oh so proud to call you my friends I don't care what happened in the past, because this present is so precious and our lives are worth attempting to mend On a star filled night staring at Orion's belt, I can take comfort in company and still feel like myself I will exhale, see my own breath and pretend that I understand just a little of our depth I may not be my own best friend but I will still pretty happy with myself in the end Curbside conversations will tidy all my concerns away. I am aware that it's an uphill fight but won't you just sit and talk with me tonight We'll mumble as I toss stones gently into the bay I can count on myself, I can count on you, I can't count on my fingers 'cause I never stayed in school And when we stare into our eyes I can see my own demise but I don't care because I think life's pretty cool~
8.
This bed holds secrets Which only we know One day I will learn how to keep it all closed These walls are leaning Pretty soon they will collapse And if I'm not too careful, I think I may relapse And when I'm gone I will be asking / what exactly has been going on? Are you happy or am I just / an asshole for stringing you along? Either way, I don't think that I belong When I'm on my deathbed, where will I be? Will I be inside of a car? Or in a dorm room or a hospital, without an IV Or will I be in an alley behind this bar? Either way I don't think that I will get much farther if I stay alone. Because I'm limping and I think that on the inside I may just be made of stone Good thing I'm happier when I'm not home.
9.
You want me to leave? Well I'll say I'll go. I won't even ask why, you stepped all over my toes. You say I'm too timid for you? Well I'm still too timid for me too. I need a haircut I need get by, I won't even bother asking if you cried you know I heard it over the phone. I wanna be a corporate sell out, I wanna be a high school dropout I wanna be nothing but your lover, but the pain keeps building up, the pain keeps building up. All my words may mean more when I'm dead but while I'm living I'll try to let them leak out my head I'm not feeling too scared, I'm just feeling a little bit quite tonight Empty hearted prayers to make the world a better place won't let you even halfway wipe that guilt from your face And when we touch sometimes it just feels right Let's try to stay home Saturday night and clean the bathroom. One day wanna shave off all of my hair and give it to you. Let's talk on our cell phones for an hour and a half Reminisce and try to predict how long we'll last I wanna be a corporate sell out, I wanna be a high school dropout I wanna be nothing but your lover, but the pain keeps building up, the pain keeps building up I wanna be a corporate sellout, I wanna be a high school drop out I wanna be nothing but your lover but the pain keeps building up, the pain keeps building up I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want! So tell me what you want, what you really really want! I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want! So tell me what you want, what you really really want! I wanna (huh) I wanna (huh) I wanna (huh) I wanna (huh) I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ahh! If you wanna be my lover You gotta get with my friends Because I've got some demons But I'll try to make amends I missed you as soon as I meet you I miss everyone I meet I wanna try to love myself But it ain't a simple feat!
10.
I would like to hold you And maybe if just you would hold me too Well then we could be together Eating ice cream and popsicles this June
11.
Happy valentines day, to everyone I know... It's that special time of year where we try to live with each other in the snow. Happy new year, next time it comes, around...I hope your resolutions make you a better person than the one I found! So hold your friends close, and hold your lovers close, as well. And whichever of those you're lacking well, then today feels like hell. Do tell. Happy valentines day, to everyone and all... I hope you know that these memories will be with us until we fall To all my friends, I think you know, that I love you. I would tell that to everyone, everyday, but they already know it's true. So hold your friends close, and hold your lovers close, as well. Maybe in the near future you can imagine that your heart will swell! Look into the mirror and don't change a thing about yourself. You're beautiful and intelligent so try to stay in good health. 1,2,3,4 Happy valentines day, to everyone and all... I hope you know that these memories will be with us until we fall To all my friends, I think you know, that I love you. I would tell that to everyone, everyday, but they already know it's true. So hold your friends close every night / I think you're pretty cool so let's try not to fight We'll throw a dance party for those we wish we knew / and you are loved you are loved I know it's true! We are not monsters, mice, nor men / we are all one spirit so let's attempt to make amends! Because the ground and the earth and the sky above / makes you and me, now let us hug I am not a diplomat / nor do I believe that anything I say is fact, but but I do hope that it is true / because then we'll learn to love each other aka ourselves this June.

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Jacob Norman Chainsaw-Arm is a part of BINKY.

bbinky.bandcamp.com

credits

released January 7, 2014

Ukulele, vocals, and occasional guitar by Jacob Norman Chainsaw-Arm
Drums and mastering by Aaron Arws Chainsaw-Arm
Bass by Coco Bass-Arm
All keyboard and piano stuff by Bill Grand Chainsaw
A lot of guitar stuff by Cyrus "The Great" Chainsaw-Arm
Some guitar by Paul
Mandolin by Brolin X Chainsaw-Arm
Inna did stuff and Emily made some noises.

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Jacob Norman Chainsaw-Arm Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Ukulele-centric punk-folk / bedroom pop.

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